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Saturday, January 1, 2011

New Year in the ICU

Again,  it isn't my instinct to acually post anything here immediately so these are just compiled tweets about what happened for the past two days. They're not really that long. So maybe I'd add a little more.

I stayed in Cavite for the past 2 days so wasn't able to tweet but was able to see my lola. She looks so helpless.
I especially hated the fact that my aunts were all so teary-eyed as we greeted her happy new year. I know I can't blame them.
But that won't stop me from actually feeling slightly "not-okay" with it. Our eyes were glued to the little monitor thing.
I hated the power given to that thing. It was a machine but we depended on it so much. What it shows could trigger any possibility.
I ABHORRED IT.
And though I was given the opportunity to say ANYTHING to my lola my mouth was clearly shut & my mind was fully blank.
I don't wanna say anything. 'Cause deep down inside me I believe that my aunts too have this feeling deep within 'em.
Besides, what was I suppose to say? Joking about the situation is my initial instinct but everyone was just too sober.


Basically, those are it, each line pertains to single tweet. I never really said  anything about anything you can find in those tweets to any of the "grown-ups" nor my other younger cousins. Not meaning to be rude or a bad grandchild but it's that I can't take seeing my lola (grandma)  like that ; so weak and helpless. It's just easier to let go of her after seeing her REAL condition.