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I Have Multiple Worlds in My head. Check out My Tumblr and Twitter Accounts. Don't Tell Me. I know I bore you.

Sunday, March 6, 2011

And I Know I Can't Write

And I know I am cramming. And  I know there's this crisis and I know I am falling. There will not be a day that I don't feel guilty because of this. I don't  need to enumerate all the things and factors of this EPIC DOWNFALL of my life. All's been great for the past years. But now? I just crack. I crack at everything.Every type of pressure I face. I don't want it. I don't. I just want to live a life where I do what I want. I want to be what I want. But there will always ALWAYS ALWAYS be a catch. And that catch? That catch is something I find hard to give up. Most of the time, they're my academics. I'm not a nerd .... maybe I am, but it's just that I believe I pursue two different things and like what Robert Frost said: it was indeed as if there were 2 roads that diverged in a yellow wood. And like him, I was sorry, extremely sorry, I could not travel both.

It was always the fight on what you should do and what you want to do. Why? I want to be normal like other kids. I don't wanna care 'bout my grades,  'bout my grades and the likes. I want to do what I want and just cram and people wouldn't find that surprising.

Random. Thinking of just making a typepad  account and put all my entries there. I know it's too random but this is my diary. I don't care if anyone's reading. I don't need readers.Why? Because this blog just reveals too much of myself. I feel vulnerable when I know that people I see everyday read this. But I wouldn't mind people caring for me. Somehow, I guess that's the reason for all this. Never mind 'bout what I said of not wanting followers. I want 'em especially when they show concern. I'm a wallflower so in real life I don't get to have that many friends. I wish I could. But I'd always be shy. ALWAYS.

I Should Write my Monologue Now.

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