Clubs, Drinks, Techno, & French

Since it's the start of Summer, and what a glorious season it will be, I plan on learning more about what's above. I dunno why but nowadays I often find myself randomly typing these babies on my search box. I don't have a specific target on mind with regard to what I want to know about these stuff but I just feel so satisfied whenever i read an article about any of these. I've been re-obsessing myself with Techno Music and of course when you search about these stuff you find magnificent DJs. Having read about these creatures you suddenly become aware of the usual clubs they can be found. When you know of these clubs you get real interested about what are the things in these clubs until finally, you see their best drink. Now, with the French thing, I'm quite uncertain as to why it is there but let's say I'm planning on taking it as an elective this school year. As of the moment, I'm kinda really having big troubles with it. Why? Because mainly I wanna sound right. I know you can't sound right in just a day but I want it to happen fast. I feel mediocre really. I can't get it right. How do you sound French anyway? I guess I need to drown myself with more Yelle and Jeunet.

Not included in the title is my sudden desire (or perhaps another re-ignited desire) to play an instrument I already play a little bit of piano and was very much experienced when it comes to the "recorder" but I wanna play drums or the beat box or learn how to deal with those shiny synthesizers. You dunno how my eyes turned real big and my lips just spread real wide as I typed in "synthesizers." Anyway, that's perhaps a useless thing to say. However, the guitar and the  piano could be acceptable for now.

Sports? I've only one sport I'm really hooked to right now and that's Football. I wanna do football but first I gotta get "fit" and right for the game. I'm not that much of a sports person since I am indeed a netizen but I could try running every once in a  while. Other things may include: Arnis, Pilates/Yoga/WATEVA, Muay Thai, or some excercise that will allow me to dance like HELL! =)) I love dancing though I'm defo not good at it. But who cares mahn? I'm 14 and living my life. I could dance like some crazeh dork if I want to. Just GTFO if you even dare to tell that to ma face.

P.S. All images in my Blog are not Mine unless stated otherwise :) 

And I Know I Can't Write

And I know I am cramming. And  I know there's this crisis and I know I am falling. There will not be a day that I don't feel guilty because of this. I don't  need to enumerate all the things and factors of this EPIC DOWNFALL of my life. All's been great for the past years. But now? I just crack. I crack at everything.Every type of pressure I face. I don't want it. I don't. I just want to live a life where I do what I want. I want to be what I want. But there will always ALWAYS ALWAYS be a catch. And that catch? That catch is something I find hard to give up. Most of the time, they're my academics. I'm not a nerd .... maybe I am, but it's just that I believe I pursue two different things and like what Robert Frost said: it was indeed as if there were 2 roads that diverged in a yellow wood. And like him, I was sorry, extremely sorry, I could not travel both.

It was always the fight on what you should do and what you want to do. Why? I want to be normal like other kids. I don't wanna care 'bout my grades,  'bout my grades and the likes. I want to do what I want and just cram and people wouldn't find that surprising.

Random. Thinking of just making a typepad  account and put all my entries there. I know it's too random but this is my diary. I don't care if anyone's reading. I don't need readers.Why? Because this blog just reveals too much of myself. I feel vulnerable when I know that people I see everyday read this. But I wouldn't mind people caring for me. Somehow, I guess that's the reason for all this. Never mind 'bout what I said of not wanting followers. I want 'em especially when they show concern. I'm a wallflower so in real life I don't get to have that many friends. I wish I could. But I'd always be shy. ALWAYS.

I Should Write my Monologue Now.

New Year in the ICU

Again,  it isn't my instinct to acually post anything here immediately so these are just compiled tweets about what happened for the past two days. They're not really that long. So maybe I'd add a little more.

I stayed in Cavite for the past 2 days so wasn't able to tweet but was able to see my lola. She looks so helpless.
I especially hated the fact that my aunts were all so teary-eyed as we greeted her happy new year. I know I can't blame them.
But that won't stop me from actually feeling slightly "not-okay" with it. Our eyes were glued to the little monitor thing.
I hated the power given to that thing. It was a machine but we depended on it so much. What it shows could trigger any possibility.
I ABHORRED IT.
And though I was given the opportunity to say ANYTHING to my lola my mouth was clearly shut & my mind was fully blank.
I don't wanna say anything. 'Cause deep down inside me I believe that my aunts too have this feeling deep within 'em.
Besides, what was I suppose to say? Joking about the situation is my initial instinct but everyone was just too sober.


Basically, those are it, each line pertains to single tweet. I never really said  anything about anything you can find in those tweets to any of the "grown-ups" nor my other younger cousins. Not meaning to be rude or a bad grandchild but it's that I can't take seeing my lola (grandma)  like that ; so weak and helpless. It's just easier to let go of her after seeing her REAL condition.

TwitLonger Post # 1

I'm sorry. But I guess, I don't really get to remember I've a  proper blog to put this kinds of stuff. NYAHAHA! At any rate, here it is:

Earlier at around 12 mn my phone flashed the reminder it was @angelsandkisses's B-Day. I soo wanted to tweet her a happy B-Day like the way she flooded me with mentions on my B-Day last summer. But apparently that I cannot do for me was in hospital in Cavite with my whole family and my other aunts. It was sorta like an impromptu decision our family had to make (to go to Cavite, that is. We set out on the road at around 10:30 pm and arrived in Dasma at around 12 mn. Of course, we passed Imus which reminded me about @guinella =))who happens to be a friend of @HellaCinderella too. Anyway, that was nothing.Just sayin'. NYAHAHAHA!
When we got to the hospital I saw all my other aunts but I didn't get to see how my granny was doing. KINDA was afraid. So after a few more minutes, my dad & I left@littleartist04 and my mom there. They'd be in Cavite 'til Friday. And my sis just wants to say to her followers: "Keep Calm and HAPPY NEW YEAR!" She strictly instructed me to tell that to y'all. we're just hoping that my granny makes it. I, honestly, just pray that she makes it 'til New Year & she gets to be conscious & at least tell my mom to just CALM DOWN! Me mommy's absolutely freakin' out. She's crying like I've never seen before. GOSH!
Gonna be attending the burial of our helper's brother later at around 3 pm. Why are there so many deaths and accidents during the Holidays? it's such a merry season to think of death the likes. *shakes head*
Nevertheless, HAPPY NEW YEAR TO Y'ALL!

TUMBLR POSTS # 3

I'm just really sorry if my posts are all from Tumblr. I know I'm all pissing you right now ...or maybe not. Since, no one's really reading this. GOD! This is sorta like talking to myself then. Anyway, I would post the Tumblr Post so all this'd be over.

10 New Follower Requests?!

My Holidays were well spent, don’t worry about it. Waiting fro 12 midnight nowadays isn’t much of a challenge compared to before when I was about 9 or so. But what’s important was I had a BRILLIANT or rather EXCELLENT noche buena with the family. It was quite unexpected ‘cause most of the time noche buena’s consist of ham which my whole family is not really that close to. And it also consist of other stuff that the Martian is not really happy about. BUT thank the heavens that my mom bought some vegetables and vinaigrette and some tacos too ( I just need to take off the beef from it). All in all, it was SPLENDID!

I also got a white envelope from  one of my aunts…..

Was so ecstatic. We also bought some VCDS that were on sale. Finally found,Perfume: The Story of a Murderer. We already watched all four of ‘em but right this moment I’m actually watching Sweeney Todd  again. =)) Hope you enjoyed your holidays as much as I did. 

And so that's it. My TUMBLR POST # 3. 

TUMBLR POSTS # 2

Here's another one I just posted today:

RANTS

I know I’d never gain a “group” and never be part of any real one in High School. I guess, I’m that much of a loner. At least, I don’t get to worry about problems involving “groups”. I was always sorta left out and left out is what I will be. Saw a post here once. It said:

“JUNE =FINEASS 

Fun to be with. Loves to try new things. Boys/girls LOVE you. You are very hott. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes rep pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people’s feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Spazzy at times. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover. Repost this in the next 5 mins and your reputation will boost someway in the next 12 day”

I don’t usually believe in this stuff. But most of ‘em, what’s written here, is true and correct. =) Though I don’t get the easily hurt thing.

Anyways, I just wanted to post this. I just do, OK? I guess, Imma post this in my lousy blogspot too. I never get to update it that much. I’m such a loser. :)

TUMBLR POSTS # 1

I don't really use my Blogspot as often as my Twitter and Tumblr. So, most of the time I get to "blog" in Tumblr more. And so far, I've posted 2 entries there that I might wanna put here. This will be the first one and it's about my friend Johann which I believe deserves another separate post. But I'm too tired to make one now. So here's my Johann Post:

UGH, JOHANN! NOT FUNNY!

FINE! I always knew Johann was the type who could get real emotional. He was my seatmate for 3 quarters in our freshman year I ought to know that. But GAHD! Earlier was just worth cursing about. Well, I already had a bad feeling that the whole teasing thing with Maia was up to no good.

How did I know?

It was when they were actually teasing each other way back during the science fair. Johann changed a lot this year. And I hate to say it but most of ‘em were not for the good. Do you know how damn frustrating to see something like that happen to your friend? SHIZZZ!! But moving on, as they were teasing I kinda gave him a frown for definitely doing a great job at lowering the self-esteem of others but what he told me is something that kinda got stuck in my head and is actually being replayed again and again now.

“Sige na Aya. Oo na. Ako na yung masama…..”

And he said something like he didn’t care if what he was doing was wrong ‘cause Maia was just teasing him to the bones. And not to make it seem that it was Maia’s fault why he reacted that way, I guess he just lost it all after reading her post about the relationship thing. I think he just doesn’t like things about that stuff. Well, whatever.

Regardless of the reason as to why he blew up just like that, he was actually able to piss me like hell with all his “the-world-would-be-a-better-place-if-I-were-gone” statements. SRSLY, Johann. Everybody can have a DAMN FUCKIN’ Bad Day. And everybody’s entitled to say so. It’s just that …. I dunno. I guess, I just didn’t like the way you expressed your whole feeling.

But as much as I want to be mad at him, I can’t. I think I know why. But I won’t tell. If he’s fine tomorrow, I might have to approach. :|

TENSION…..UGH!